Mother's fears over custody battle

A Co Tyrone mother whose child is trapped in an in international custody battle has told UTV she fears she will never see her son again.

Thursday, 05 January 2012

TAGS:

• LOCAL NEWS
 
• COURT

Tracey McCay's six-year-old son Sean was taken to Singapore last week by his father David.

The couple split acrimoniously while holidaying in Indonesia, but when Tracey returned to Singapore she realised the terms under which she had entered the country meant she had little or no parental rights.

"I was in a foreign country. I had no friends, no family. I was really scared and I just felt I should have done my research," she said.

"What people don't realise is that obviously although you're residents of a foreign country you're not entitled to the same laws as what you're used to back home."

After a month battling her former partner, Tracey saw her son and she said her little boy was "confused and excited" at the same time.

"Once he saw me he just went 'Mummy!'. He was just so excited to see me and I was so excited to see him and I just had to hold back tears," she explained, "but it was just really nice and we just cuddled and kissed and just stuff like that, and he said 'Mummy, I really miss you and where have you been?'"

"I've never been away from him for that long. I've always been with him and then Sean left and not knowing when I would see him again."

Tracey began custody proceedings in Northern Ireland when she returned home and although Sean was in the region for Christmas he was taken away again by two police officers on Christmas Eve after the Lord Chief Justice ruled against Tracey because of the ongoing legal issues in Singapore.

She said it "broke [her] heart" when she had to give him back before Christmas Day.

"We kissed and we cuddled. It was just really, really nice. But when the police came I had to make it nice for Sean. I didn't want him to be scared and when he was getting into the police car I was just saying goodbye to him and cuddling him."

Although Sean has been taken back to Singapore by his father, Tracey said she will fight on for her rights as a mother.

"I have to go back to Singapore and fight in Singapore. And then I've been told by my lawyer in Singapore that I have to fight over here. So I'm left with no options at all where to fight."

She told UTV her greatest fear is "that I'll never see Sean again".

The solicitor acting for Sean's father, David McCay, issued a statement which reads:

"The Lord Chief Justice of Northern Ireland returned the child to our client's care and custody on Christmas Eve.

"As arranged our client and the child returned to Singapore on the 28th December. As the parents and child reside in Singapore, all issues we understand are being dealt with there.

"Our client strongly refutes any suggestion he has acted improperly."

Suicide talk scrambles custody fight

http://articles.nydailynews.com/2012-01-09/news/30605687_1_custody-case-strauss-custody-change


Senior court officials abruptly yanked a custody case from a Queens judge amid claims that a boy became suicidal after meeting with him, the Daily News has learned. Though neither side asked for it, the long drawn-out case before Supreme Court Justice Sidney Strauss was ordered to an emergency trial that began in Brooklyn last week. “The transcripts are scary,” said a source familiar with the reasoning behind the highly unusual change of venue. In a September hearing, the boy’s mother and his lawyer told Strauss that the 10-year-old — who was ordered to live with his father in 2007 — was distraught after the judge told him he would not change that order.

The boy’s mental state has “gotten progressively worse” since the sitdown with Strauss, said his mom, Annemarie McAvoy, a Fordham University professor and frequent TV commentator.

“He talked about how he’d kill himself or his father,” she said.

The judge was unmoved by stories of the boy’s distress.

“I guess I’m the one that created the suicidal ideation, then,” Strauss said, according to court records. “I didn’t tell him what he wanted to hear.”

The same judge made another controversial custody switch in 2007, placing a toddler with her dad against the recommendations of all involved.

The girl’s distraught mother, Mazoltuv Borukhova, then had the father killed. The custody change was presented as her motive at her murder trial.

The judge called the custody arrangement in the McAvoy case temporary, but the case has been stalled ever since.

Strauss recently indicated that a final ruling won’t come before 2014, records show.

McAvoy separated from John Hannigan in 2002 and signed an agreement making her the main caretaker of their son.

But the couple sparred over the boy’s diagnosis of mild autism, with the mother insisting he needs special care and the father contending he’s normal.

The judge changed custody from mother to father without a hearing in 2007, based on one opinion disputing autism and a doctor’s report saying the boy is “slightly underweight” and “his teeth appeared to be discolored.”

The state’s deputy chief administrative judge ordered the case transferred after “serious questions about the child’s welfare were brought to [her] attention,” said David Bookstaver, spokesman for the court system.

Following an evaluation whether there’s an imminent risk to the boy, he added, the case will return to Queens.

Even then, sources said, Strauss, who’s no longer assigned to matrimonial cases, is not likely to get it back.

Audrey Sager, lawyer for the boy’s father, blasted the decision to move the trial to Brooklyn as unnecessary interference.

“No one asked, no one filed a motion,” she said.

I am one of the few to succeed...

I would like to share with everyone that the court has made its verdict and they have ruled the children are to come and live with me, their mother.  Though I am obviously overjoyed and blessed to have gone through this successfully my heart still breaks for the many who do not see this success. I hope to over time share my experiences through the court process and in that be able to help others.

My mission continues for all those who are currently going through custody and/or relocation issues. We have to continue to work at this so that we can help all those who unfortunately have seen their children taking from their protective arms.

God Bless each and every one of you!!

Waiting... it's like torture

I am just waiting... waiting for what will be the fate of my children. Waiting for the judges decision.

It's like torture.

Why won't he talk??

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/45814164/ns/today-today_people/#.Tv1G49QV35w

‘Just talk to me,’ mom of missing Maine tot begs dad

By Scott Stump
TODAY.com contributor
updated 12/29/2011 8:50:17 AM ET

The mother of a missing toddler pleaded with the father of the child Thursday to contact her after the two have not spoken since their daughter’s disappearance nearly two weeks ago.

On TODAY, Trista Reynolds, 23, attempted to reach out to Justin DiPietro, the father of 20-month-old Ayla. The child was reported missing on Dec. 17 after last being seen by DiPietro in his Waterville, Maine, home when he put her to bed the previous night. DiPietro and Reynolds have not spoken once since the child’s disappearance or during the ensuing wide-scale search by local authorities.

Reynolds is not considered a suspect by police. She has tried to reach out to DiPietro, but he has not returned her calls, and the police have not acted as any type of intermediary to put the two in contact, she told Matt Lauer. ‘Why won’t he come out?’

“Just come talk to me,’’ Reynolds responded when asked what she would like to say to DiPietro. “He is the only one who can answer some of my questions. We have a daughter that is missing. We used to be able to get along all the time. Just talk to me. That’s all I want. He was the last one to see her alive. Just talk to me.’’
Reynolds is ambivalent about whether she believes DiPietro was involved in Ayla’s disappearance.

“I don’t know,’’ she said. “Part of me feels yes, and a part of me feels no. He said he’s not in hiding, but why won’t he come out? Why won’t he talk to me? Why is he staying away? What is he so afraid of, to not come out and talk to me?’’

On Wednesday, Waterville police said they have wrapped up large-scale searches for the child. With assistance from firefighters and residents, authorities have repeatedly probed private properties, nearby woods, open fields and waterways on foot and by air, according to the Waterville police. They have searched trash bins and drained a stream in an attempt to find the missing toddler. Police concluded that Ayla, who recently started walking, did not leave the house on her own.

A privately funded $30,000 reward for any information on her disappearance was posted Monday, leading to about 370 tips from as far away as California, according to a statement by police chief Joseph Massey. Authorities have also searched DiPietro’s home and dusted for fingerprints. DiPietro released his second public statement since Ayla’s disappearance through the Waterville Police Department on Wednesday.

“It is important that the public hear it from me personally that I have no idea what happened to Ayla and that I am not hiding," he said. “I have to believe that Ayla is with somebody and I just want that person to find the courage to do the right thing and find a way to return her safely. Even if that means dropping her off at a church or a hospital or some safe place."

DiPietro has avoided speaking to the media because he does not want to hinder the search, according to his statement.

“I’m still in shock at…what he put out in the statement,’’ Reynolds told Lauer.

‘He would never let me see her’

DiPietro told police that he last saw Ayla at 8 p.m. on Dec. 16 when he put her to bed in her polka dot pajamas that read “Daddy’s Little Princess.’’ He reported her missing at approximately 8:50 a.m. on Dec. 17 after she was gone at 8 a.m. when he went to check on her. Ayla, who is just under 3 feet tall and weighs approximately 30 pounds, has blue eyes and blonde hair, and her left arm was in a soft cast from an accident four weeks ago.

Reynolds, who lives 75 miles away in South Portland, was skeptical that the recent injury to Ayla was an accident and had concerns over Ayla’s safety under DiPietro’s care.

“He would never let me see her,’’ Reynolds said. “I would call to talk to her, and he would get mad about it. If I did see her and I would notice something on her like a bruise or just something, instead of reacting in a calm manner, he would lash out about it or kind of go into defense.’’

“I would never do anything to hurt my child,’’ DiPietro said in response to Reynolds’s claims. “The questions of Ayla’s arm, or bruises, or anything else being said are simply ludicrous.’’

Reynolds, who lives 75 miles away in South Portland, claimed she and DiPietro had an agreement that he would take care of Ayla when she entered a 10-day rehabilitation program in October for an alcohol issue. Other media reports have suggested that child welfare services removed Ayla from her home and gave her to DiPietro when Reynolds entered the program, which she completed. Reynolds did not see Ayla for the first 2½ weeks after finishing the rehab program, and last saw her child on Nov. 21, she told Lauer.
 Video: Mom begs dad of missing baby Ayla: ‘Just talk to me’

She disputed reports that she filed for sole custody of Ayla a day before she disappeared, telling Lauer she filed for “parental rights and responsibilities, and that’s it.’’ She also denied having anything to do with Ayla going missing.

Police have not told her any more than they have told the public about the search. The authorities have been “exceedingly cautious” about releasing details to the public in order to not jeopardize the investigation, according to Massey’s statement. In his statement, DiPietro thanked the police and community for their efforts and for putting up a reward for Ayla’s return.

“It’s the same thing — that they’re still investigating, that they’re still where we were 13 days ago,’’ Reynolds said.

What drives a father to kill?

http://mediamisses.wordpress.com/2011/12/18/what-drives-a-father-to-kill/

This post is from the blog Media Misses.


Does this sound like the guy is trying to rationalize a father’s violence or be sympathetic to it? Kinda creepy.

What drives a father to kill?

The typical profile of a family annihilator is a middle-aged man, a good provider who appears dedicated, devoted and loyal to his family. However, he is usually quite socially isolated, with few friends and with profound feelings of frustration and inadequacy. The tipping point is some catastrophic loss or impending tragedy that threatens to undermine his sense of self and amplifies his feelings of impotence and powerlessness. In individuals for whom their family is an integral part of their identity – part of themselves, rather than a separate being – murdering the family is akin to a single act of suicide. It is a way of regaining control; of obliterating the impending crisis. This explains why men will often not only kill their partner and children, but also pets and destroy their property by setting fires. It is an eradication of everything that constitutes the self.

In addition to this, they are often motivated by bitterness and anger and a desire to punish the spouse; while killing the partner is an act of revenge, killing the children is an act of love as he believes he – and therefore they – will be better off dead than face the imminent loss of power.

While this points to severe psychological problems with underlying personality issues and maladaptive coping strategies, this, in itself, does not necessarily constitute a mental illness. However, professionals are divided as to whether these men can be held truly culpable for their actions. For the few that survive, jurors tend to find them responsible for their actions and therefore guilty of murder, but some end up detained in secure psychiatric hospitals indefinitely.

Experts, such as Jack Levin, Professor of Sociology and Criminology at the Northeastern University in Boston, Massachusetts who has studied family annihilators, have argued that they typically do know right from wrong and points to the fact that they are well planned and selective and that if a friend came along, the father wouldn’t kill him or her – instead, he kills his children to get even with his wife because he blames her and hates her.

Others, such as Tony Black, former chief psychologist at Broadmoor, are more circumspect. Black has argued that for anyone to commit such a heinous crime, there must be something fundamentally wrong with them and it is unhelpful just to simply think of them as ‘bad’. But what can be done to prevent such atrocities? Is there the possibility of intervention before such murders take place or ways to identify at risk men?

Scott Mackenzie, a consultant forensic psychiatrist in Essex who has assessed family annihilators for the criminal justice system, feels that often there are underlying anti-social personality traits and fundamental issues with rage and anger management. But these psychological traits are not uncommon in the population, and most will never go on to murder their family. ‘Those who act are often angry and resentful individuals. There is often a prior pattern of domestic abuse. But predicting with any reliability who will suddenly flip and resort to this kind of behaviour is incredibly difficult, if not near impossible. After any such incident there are inevitably questions asked if anything could be done, if someone could have intervened or spotted the signs. Tragically, in most cases, the answer is no.’

Wrong answer! Here is how we prevent it:

Look for the red flags (anger, resentment, abuse, control, coercion)
Take threats seriously
Believe women when they express fear
Do NOT provide leniency in domestic violence
Treat domestic violence like other crimes
Educate society on domestic violence (myths vs. reality)
Don’t be silent about abuse – it can lead to shame, victim blaming, tolerance for this crime
Change how the media present stories – the “nice guy”‘ murders wife – does not provide the context to understand DV
Change the culture – violence against women is not inevitable

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/mindy-mccready-leaves-court-happy-girl-ruling-son/story?id=15089586#.Tt7gJGNFu30

Mindy McCready Leaves Court a 'Happy Girl' After Custody Ruling By LUCHINA FISHER and YUNJI DE NIES Dec. 6, 2011—

go.com

Country singer Mindy McCready left an Arkansas courthouse a "happy girl" Monday without divulging details about a juvenile court judge's ruling on what will happen to her and her five-year-old son Zander.

"I can't talk about it, but I can tell you all I'm a happy girl. I'm a happy girl right now," she said to reporters gathered outside the Izard County courtroom of Judge Lee Harrod.

"I love Judge Harrod, I'll tell you that. I love that man. He's a good man," she said before being driven away from the courthouse.

Later Monday evening, McCready sent a text message to HLN's Jane Valez Mitchell that the host read on air.

"WE WON!!! ZAN STAYS," McCready wrote. "Court details sealed but we love Judge Lee W Harrod."

Details on when the singer may be able to take Zander back home to Nashville, and whether McCready will get permanent custody of her son remain unclear.

"The next step would be for the judge to decide," Amy Webb, director of communications for the Arkansas Department of Human Services, told ABC News.

Florida Department of Children and Families officials had been expected to request in the hearing that Zander be sent back to Cape Coral, Fla., where McCready's mother, Gayle Inge, is his legal guardian.

"We will not discuss details of this case per the judge's order. Of course we continue to work with all involved parties to ensure this child's safety and well-being," a Florida DCF spokeswoman told ABCNews.com.

McCready's rep offered no information either. "All proceedings and documentation surrounding the hearing are sealed," Kat Atwood said in a statement to ABCNews.com. "No further information is available at this time."

McCready and her son were found by Arkansas police Friday hiding in the closet of an unoccupied summer home days after the pair were first reported missing.

"I understand when a Mom wants her kid, and a mom would do anything for her kid, but she is not excused from the law just because her name is Mindy McCready," her younger half-brother, Sky Phelan, wrote on a Facebook fan page Sunday. "The extreme that Mindy went to was completely unnecessary."

The boy's father and McCready's ex-boyfriend, Billy McKnight, revealed Monday that he had allowed the singer an extended visit with their son after the Thanksgiving weekend.

"She called me up before Thanksgiving and said, 'Hey, look Billy, I'm going back home and I'm going to have these kids [McCready is expecting twins]. I'm not going to be able to be down here. Could I keep the baby this weekend?' And I offered that to her, and when I did that she took him," McKnight told the website Taste of Country.

Under the current custody agreement, McCready's mother, Gayle Inge, is Zander's guardian. McKnight told Taste of Country that he has unsupervised visits with his son four nights a week, and the boy stays with his grandparents the other nights of the week. McCready's visits are supervised by her parents, he said.

But the singer claimed that her son was in danger "both physically and emotionally" while living with her mother, and she was willing to risk jail to protect Zander.

"I'm a mom first," she told The Associated Press last Thursday from Nashville. "No matter what happens, I'm going to protect my kid. If I have to go to jail, so be it."

Both Inge and Phelan deny the abuse allegations.

"If anyone wants to message me, and ask me if I am abused, you are welcome to. I will give you the answer NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT AND NEITHER IS ZANDER," Phelan wrote, using capital letters for emphasis. "All that boy gets is lots of love. My mom is not and never was an abusive person."

"She is looking for the easy way out when she could work the programs provided to her by the court system," Phelan added.

McKnight, who hopes to have full custody of Zander by early 2012, echoed Phelan. "Instead of complying, she did what she did, which is going to set her back probably a pretty good bit," he said.

McCready defied a Florida judge's order last week when she refused to return her son to his grandmother's house. She revealed at the time that she was pregnant with twins and would be unable to travel.

McCready spokeswoman Kat Atwood told ABCNews.com that the singer is entering her sixth month of pregnancy.

"She and the twins' father have been enjoying time spent out of the spotlight," she said. "Although they are excited in the baby news, they would 'like' to continue to do so in private at this time (as much as they can)."

The father is believed to be David Wilson, the man who spoke to police at an unoccupied lake home in Heber Springs, Ark., while the multi-platinum-selling recording artist was hiding in a closet with her son.

Even for McCready, who has struggled with addiction, depression, brushes with the law and a long custody battle over Zander, her latest troubles seemed to be a new low.

I cried and felt terrible for my sister when I found out that she had been hiding in a closet in someone else's home," Phelan said. "Although I don't agree with the things that she does, I will always love my sister, Mindy."

ABC News' Yunji de Nies contributed to this report.